Next tour: No dates will be set until that guy from MI9 stops following me around Manchester.
Meet: Somewhere in Manchester. We will let you know using our secret pigeon service.
Beware: Guides who may not be guides. Fellow walkers who may not be fellow walkers. Tour locations that aren’t tour locations.
End: Citing diplomatic immunity in a third world banana republic while watching a DVD of Our Man In Havana on an endless loop.
For More Information: Please send an s.a.e. to Mr. John Smith, Whitehall.

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The following guide to the various security services is top secret information for your eyes only. Read it, print it, memorise it, destroy it.

MI1 – Codebreaking
MI2 – Russia and Scandinavia
MI3 – Eastern Europe
MI4 – Aerial reconnaisance
MI5 – Internal security
MI6 – Protecting Britain’s interests overseas
MI8 – Military communication interception
MI9 – Covert operations
MI14 – German specialists
MI15 – German specialists
MI19 – PoW debriefing
MI17 – Extraterrestrial matters.